A Different Kind of Blues Read online

  “You’re a bag of surprises,” Sally said when they met. “You never waste time talking to me. What’s up?”

  “I’ll tell you at lunch.”

  Sally raised both eyebrows, pushed the revolving door, and walked out of the building ahead of her. Petra tried to figure out whether Sally’s move reflected arrogance, refusal to acknowledge status, or something else. She shrugged and admitted the possibility that that may have been Sally’s way of opening the door for her. Lord, am I becoming paranoid?

  “If it’s important, maybe you’d better wait till after I eat,” Sally said. “How do you like being office manager? I always thought it involved doing whatever Jack didn’t feel like doing.”

  “In a way,” Petra said, though she knew that comment wasn’t meant to be complimentary. “But I have fixed duties as well.”

  “In any case, the place runs a lot smoother than it did when Jennifer messed in everybody’s business. Are they spending the weekend together some place? I don’t know of any conference on real estate anywhere in the good old US of A this weekend. Do you?”

  “Gosh, I haven’t checked,” Petra said, mindful that it was because of her gossip that she had to ask Sally’s forgiveness. She could hardly swallow her hamburger and French fries, so great was her dread of the task she faced. However, Sally ate her lunch heartily, and after consuming a hamburger and French fries, ordered apple pie à la mode and ate that.

  “It’s time to get back to the office,” Sally said after a glance at her watch. “Forty-five minutes is not long enough for lunch. Why don’t you use your clout and get us an hour?”

  “You can imagine what Jack’s reaction would be,” Petra said, feeling a chain beginning to knot in her belly.

  “So what’s this all about?” Sally asked. “If I was getting a raise, you’d have told me in the office.”

  “Right.” They passed a coffee bar, and on an impulse, she grabbed Sally’s sleeve and urged her into the bar. “Look, Sally, this is killing me. I did something awful, and I have to tell you and ask your forgiveness. I caught Jack checking out Gail, and I jokingly told him to forget it, that Gail was your bird, and he went berserk. How’d I know he’d—”

  “You what?” Sally screamed and grabbed Petra by the collar. “You’re the one who told Jack that and got Gail fired? You did that? Damn you. I ought to wipe up this floor with you.”

  Petra knew that all heads had turned in their direction, and she broke loose from Sally’s grip, stepped out onto the street, and headed back to work. She should have told her in the office, but that might not have worked out either. As she entered the elevator, Sally stepped in with her.

  “How could you be so foolish?” Sally hissed. “You don’t know what your loose tongue did to me. Jack won’t give Gail a reference; she can’t get a job, and I hardly make enough to take care of myself, much less her as well. I never planned to shack up with Gail, but since I have a job and she can’t get one, I feel responsible for her. Besides all that, it’s now public gossip, because Jack’s not only a bigot; he also has a big mouth.”

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Sally. I was just teasing Jack, because he tomcats at every good-looking woman he sees. I didn’t know he’d act the fool. Please forgive me.”

  Sally glared at her. “Forgive you? Why don’t you ask me to stab myself? That would be a hell of a lot easier.”

  Petra dragged herself to her office and dropped into a chair. She had tried to do what was right, but had incurred the anger and distrust of first her daughter and now her colleague. She had no stomach for the work facing her. If only she could go down to the river and enjoy its quiet and the peace she always found there. Maybe if she told her minister that she had tried to set things right with her daughter, her daughter’s father, and her colleague, he would tell her that her heart was in the right place and she could skip the other people on her list.

  “Oh, no, sister,” he said when she expressed her wish not to make any more confessions.

  “What else is there?” she asked him.

  With his finger wagging in her face, he said, “Some of those are the most egregious offenses. No. You have to ask forgiveness of all of them.”

  “But—”

  “I can’t give you absolution until you do it,” he said. “And considering what you’re facing, you’d better finish this soon.”

  Petra went home and checked her list. Josh Martin. She hadn’t thought of him in years. She didn’t hear any music and knocked on Krista’s door; still no sound. She glanced inside her daughter’s room, saw that she was alone in the house, and set about cooking dinner. Four weeks had passed, and except for the occasional headaches, she felt as she always had. Waiting for other changes in her health had begun to wear on her. She cleaned a roasting hen, stuffed it with herbs, bread, and sausage, and put it into the oven to roast. After cooking rice and preparing vegetables to cook in the microwave oven, she got the Ellicott City and Baltimore telephone books and looked for Josh Martin’s phone number.

  “Oh, that was so long ago. Maybe he’s already forgotten about it. Why remind him?” she asked herself. On an impulse, she phoned Reverend Collins. “Maybe I’m just making these people miserable, Reverend Collins. Sally was mad enough with me to kill me. Why should I call somebody I haven’t seen since high school graduation and tell him I did something nasty to him?”

  “What kind of reaction did you expect from Sally Kendall?” the minister asked Petra. “Did you think she was going to open her arms with a smile and thank you for wrecking her life? Yes, she should forgive you, but whether she does is not your problem; that’s between her and her Maker. You asked me for help, and that’s what I’ve tried to give you. Do what is right, and take your medicine.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said in a voice so subdued that she hardly recognized it as her own. It seemed silly to bring it up now, but the incident had nearly prevented Josh from graduating. After determining that he still lived in Ellicott City, she telephoned Josh.

  “Josh, I’m sure you won’t remember me, but I’m Petra Fields, and I need to talk with you about something important. Could you…uh…meet me for lunch or dinner one day soon?”

  “Petra Fields? Get outta here, girl. It’s been…I don’t know how many years. Are you here in Ellicott City?” She told him that she was. “Hmmm. I won’t ask why we’ve never run into each other. I suppose it’s easy to miss a person in a city of sixty thousand people. Lunch is best for me. I don’t dine out at night without my wife. Where would you like us to meet?”

  “I live on the west side of the Patapsco,” she said.

  “So do I. Is Harper’s near enough to you?”

  She told him that it was, and they agreed to meet for lunch the next day. She hung up and went outside to sit on her back porch and perhaps get some breeze. The moon seemed to be traveling at great speed in and out of the clouds, darting among the stars, cold and oblivious to the summer heat. It stayed a little longer behind the clouds, longer and longer each time it disappeared until, at last, it didn’t return. The wind’s velocity increased, and she heard someone’s garage door bang shut. A dog howled, and in the distance, an ambulance wailed. At the sound of faraway thunder, she folded the porch chairs and went inside. Storms both petrified and fascinated her, and she lingered at the closed window to watch the lightning dance across the sky.

  “What will all this be like years from now when I am no longer here?” It was a thought that hadn’t previously entered her mind, and she savored it for some minutes. How many grandchildren would she have, and what kind of people would they grow up to be? One month already gone. What good would it do to tell her mother and Krista? They would only worry and plague her with their questions and their concern. No. It was best this way.

  Dressed in a rose-colored blouse and a wide skirt of gray and rose voile, she walked into Harper’s restaurant at precisely twelve-thirty. She expected Josh to have the appearance of a successful man, for if he hadn’t been, he would not ha
ve suggested Harper’s restaurant.

  “Well. Well,” he said, striding to meet her, his face wreathed in smiles. “You’re lovelier than when you were eighteen.” He grasped her right hand and kissed her on each cheek. “It’s wonderful to see you again, Petra.”

  She blinked several times. The man was a steamroller, and a gorgeous one at that. “Thanks, Josh. You look both well and prosperous. I hope life’s good for you.”

  A smile creased his face. “Indeed, it is, Petra. What about you?”

  She forced a smile, relaxed, and let it come naturally. She was, after all, genuinely glad to see Josh. “I’m doing very well, Josh. I—”

  “Let’s place our orders,” he said, noting that their waiter stood at the table. “I don’t know how much time you have.” They gave their orders to the waiter. “Would you like red or white wine?” Josh asked her, and, with that question, told her more about himself than she saw in his appearance.

  “So. What do you want to tell me?” he asked, and this time he didn’t smile.

  “This has been worrying me, Josh, so I’m glad to see that things are going well with you.”

  He sat forward, rubbing his chin with his left hand. “What do you mean?” he asked, and his tone carried an urgency that told her she might have caused him some distress by walking back into his life after eighteen years.

  “You see, Josh, I’m the one who told our chemistry teacher that you were cheating on the final exam, and I shouldn’t have done it, because it was none of my business. I know it got you into trouble, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.” She fortified herself with the courage to weather his outrage.

  “Run that past me again. You’ve been worried about that? I cheated, and I got what was coming to me. I also learned a valuable lesson, Petra, so that was the best thing you could have done for me. I had cheated all the way through school, and the harsh punishment the principal laid on me for cribbing on that exam was exactly what I needed. I haven’t done it since.

  “I learned that I was smart enough that I didn’t have to cheat, and I graduated from State University with honors. Now, I’m head of a thriving computer software company. You did me a genuine favor. There’s nothing to forgive. I should thank you.”

  “I’m so glad to hear this, Josh. I’m learning not to be so self-righteous. You mentioned your wife. Do you have children?”

  His smile returned in full flower. “You bet. I’ve got the most fantastic little girl. She’s the light of my life.” He took a picture from his billfold and handed it to Petra. “I hate every minute that I’m away from her. What about you? Any children?”

  “My daughter just finished high school, and she’s hoping to go to Howard or the University of Maryland—whichever offers the best scholarship—in the fall.”

  They spoke of old times, of classmates that they still knew or hadn’t seen since graduation. “I’m so relieved, Josh, that I didn’t cause you any problems, and I’m happy that you’re having a good life. I have to get back to work now.”

  He stood and extended his hand. “I’m glad we met, Petra. Lunch is on me.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Have a good one.”

  Little did he know.

  She stopped by the post office and mailed her mortgage payment. In a few months, she’d be able to buy a car. Her mama had preached against buying what you couldn’t afford, and that was one lesson she’d learned well. It would be wonderful not to have to walk or wait on buses that never ran on time. She couldn’t wait to…What on earth was she thinking. She had forgotten, and for a few minutes…

  I’m not going to get morbid, and I refuse to spend my time crying and feeling sorry for myself. At least I’m not lying in bed, wasting away. I’m walking around, working, going to the hairdresser, and doing what I always did. Maybe I’ll go to sleep one night and not wake up. That would be wonderful.

  Encouraged by her pleasant meeting with Josh and the realization that her tattling hadn’t hurt him and may even have helped him, she prepared herself for her next encounter with someone she believed she had wronged.

  Meanwhile, Krista had decided to exclude her mother from her personal problems, including those she encountered job hunting. “I’m not going to be a nursemaid to anybody’s kids,” Krista promised herself, walked into the personnel office of a department store and said, “Good afternoon, I’m looking for a job.”

  “We have an opening in the packaging department as a package wrapper,” the woman said. “You seem intelligent.”

  Krista stared at the woman. “How much intelligence does a person need in order to wrap packages? Anyhow, I haven’t had experience doing that.”

  “We can teach you, and we have an equal opportunity policy, so you needn’t worry. We’ll give you plenty of time in which to learn.”

  “In that case, why don’t you teach me how to be a sales clerk? I can handle a computer; I’m very good at math; and I can smile at the drop of a hat.”

  “You’ve got an attitude, too.”

  Krista let herself laugh. She was looking at the sixth person that week who had offered her menial work when clerical positions were available. “Miss, I’ve had several offers of jobs working in back rooms doing backbreaking work, but I know I’m capable of something better. After you get a few dozen doors slammed in your face, you get attitude. I don’t want to work in a package room with a bunch of men who use all kinds of language.”

  “Excuse me a minute.” The woman answered the phone. “What do you mean, he walked out again? I’m fed up with his antics. Pay him for the rest of the month, and tell him not to come back.” She looked at Krista for a long time, saying nothing. “All right, miss. You’ve got a job selling table linens and accessories on the fifth floor, and I want you to start right now. Come with me.”

  The woman stayed with her for an hour and a half, showing her how to use the store’s computers, where to find stock, and briefing her on aspects of the store’s policies. At the end of the working day, she returned to Krista’s station. “I understand you’ve done well. Be sure and wear low-heel shoes tomorrow, and be here at a quarter of nine.”

  “Thank you, ma’am,” Krista said. It wasn’t brain surgery, but it made her proud that she had handled the linens section on her first day at work and hadn’t made a single error. She got home before her mother, and was glad of it. She went into her room, closed the door, and took out her cellular phone. If she used that rather than the house phone, her mother wouldn’t know who she called.

  “May I please speak with Goodman Prout.”

  “This is Goodman Prout. With whom am I speaking?”

  She had proved she could get a decent job, so she had a right to talk to Goodman Prout woman to man, if not daughter to father. “This is Krista Fields, Mr. Prout. My mother has just told me that you are my father.”

  After a long, disconcerting pause, he said, “Yes. That’s what she told me, too, so you are not to address me as Mr. Prout. Your mother told me that you have good manners. I want to see some evidence of it.”

  Stunned by his response, and well aware that she deserved her comeuppance, she said, “I’m sorry, sir. I haven’t had any practice at this. Do you mind if I come to see you?”

  “Of course I don’t mind. I suppose she told you that I have a wife and two sons. I haven’t told them about you yet, and I don’t plan to until after you and I meet. Can you come to my office tomorrow? I’m in Catonsville. The city bus should bring you here in half an hour or so.”

  “I’m working tomorrow. I just got the job today. I get off at a quarter of five.”

  He gave her instructions as to how to reach his office. “I hope to see you tomorrow between five-fifteen and five-thirty. Please be on time.”

  “I will. I hate to wait for people.”

  As agreed, she took the bus to Hilliard Street, walked two blocks to the address her father gave her, looked up, and saw a sign that said Goodman Music Studios. “Wow! I wonder if he teaches music.” Immediately her ex
citement abated. What if she was making a mistake, and she should have left him alone as her mother at first suggested. Maybe she wouldn’t like him. The elevator door opened, and, immediately, she backed away from it, allowing the door to close. She let the wall take her weight. Suppose he didn’t like her and didn’t want her.

  She struggled to control her quivering lips. It had always been her and her mom and, as mad as she was at her mom, she knew that, if necessary, Petra Fields would give her life for her daughter. But this man…He already had children, so he probably wouldn’t want any more. Maybe she should go home. She blew her nose and told herself that she was a big girl. How did a person talk to a father?

  The elevator door opened again, and she took a deep breath and forced herself to enter it. She remembered her mom saying that he was probably more scared than she. Oh, what the heck! It wasn’t her problem. He was the one responsible for her being alive, and he was the one who had to deal with it. One thing for sure, she was not going to beg him for attention or anything else.

  “He’s not gonna be any more important to me than I am to him,” she said to herself. “I’m playing it cool.”

  Still feeling as if her heart had plunged to the pit of her stomach, she stepped out of the elevator, laid back her shoulders, and, with shaking fingers, rang the bell below the sign that read Goodman Music Studios.

  Goodman stood at the window wondering how his life was about to change, for it would indeed never again be the same. An eighteen-year-old daughter that he hadn’t nurtured. The doorbell rang, and he swung around and stared at the door as if he expected to see her walk in.

  “What the heck’s come over me?” He rushed to the door, opened it, and stared at the tall, handsome young woman who bore a look of expectancy, and who had a striking resemblance to his sons. She was his, all right, from her feet to her proud head. “Come in, Krista. I’m Goodman Prout, your father.”

  She stepped in and focused her gaze on him. Then, she looked around and said, “Hi. Nice place.”